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In Los Angeles, narcotics detective Matt Scudder (Jeff Bridges) is involved in yet another shooting. His life disintegrates into the bottle, and he loses his job, house, and family. He eventually joins Alcoholics Anonymous and sobers up. Six months later he is contacted by high-class prostitute Sunny (Alexandra Paul). She works out of the home-based casino run by suave gangster Chance (Randy Brooks), but now seeks protection because she fears Chance wants to harm her.
Matt is unable to help Sunny in time: she is killed and he reverts back to drinking. Chance claims to be uninvolved in the murder, so Matt turns his attention to combustible drug lord Angel Maldonado (Andy Garcia), who frequents the casino and is most enamoured by Sarah (Rosanna Arquette), one of the other prostitutes. Matt teams up with Sarah and tries to lure Angel into a trap, but violence awaits.
Despite ample star power and a glitzy visual style, director Hal Ashby is unable to salvage a troubled production. The script was cobbled together from uncoordinated contributions by the trio of Oliver Stone, R. Lance Hill and an uncredited Robert Towne, collectively botching the adaptation of Lawrence Block's book. Gangsters, drugs, alcoholism, gambling, money laundering, and prostitution are lined up and left exposed in a remarkable display of disassociated filmmaking.
8 Million Ways To Die lands as a limp salute to a noir world where all the men are deeply flawed or knowingly corrupt and all the women are cynical or vacuous sex workers. The collection of ideas never gels into anything more than rivals hissing at each other at close quarters, interrupted by prostitutes undressing in attempts to manipulate or survive.
The writing gaps were apparently papered over by plenty of improvisation, and in several scenes it's apparent Jeff Bridges and Andy Garcia are desperately trading made-up lines just to fill in the blanks. Unsurprisingly, Ashby was fired after principal photography.
The few positives include a sun-drenched, too-hot aesthetic, and a couple of beautiful sets representing Chance's casino and Angel's Gaudi-inspired residence (known as the O'Neill House). The climactic showdown at a massive but empty warehouse is an out-of-control but fun collision of pointed guns and agitated profanities hurled in all directions to obscure the lack of substance.
Bridges and Garcia almost make up for the dross with sheer screen presence, but both Rosanna Arquette and Alexandra Paul flounder in thoughtlessly sketched-in roles. 8 Million Ways To Die is a great title, but unfortunately also a demonstration of demise by dissonance.
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Washed-up alcoholic actress Alex Sternbergen (Jane Fonda) wakes up in a stranger's bed and finds a dead man next to her, stabbed with a dagger. She phones her estranged husband Jackie Manero (Raul Julia) then flees the apartment in a panic. After a misadventure at the airport Alex bumps into retired and divorced police officer Turner Kendall (Jeff Bridges). A romance develops between the two lonely people, and he tries to help her out of the mess she finds herself in.
Part Hitchcock light, part half-hearted exploration of alcoholism, loneliness and second chances, part ungainly romance with misplaced wisecracks, The Morning After is a full-on mess. Writer James Hicks switches tones with clumsy, aimless transitions, then allows his characters to meander through long stretches of nothingness interrupted by thickets of bland dialogue. Director Sidney Lumet infuses bursts of colour found in the less frilly Los Angeles neighbourhoods, but is otherwise far from rescuing the material.
The opening scene is promising enough, Alex confronted by a bloody bed and an expired creep. But very quickly the pacing unravels. Bad romantic comedy vibes take over as Alex demonstrates her limited acting skills at the airport, then initiates a curbside bumper car routine, before hopping into Turner's car in an it-only-happens-in-the-movies meet-cute. The tension of the opening mystery is lost and never recovered.
Jane Fonda overcompensates with a histrionics masterclass alternating between flimsy displays of frantic victim and depressed drunk. Alex's backstory of a never-made-it actress carries appeal, but Fonda cannot wrestle down the ditzy script and find a sympathetic person within. Jeff Bridges as Turner is more of a steady presence on the receiving end of Alex's gyrating moods, but he does precious little except tag along.
With the script only bothering to introduce three characters it is never difficult to guess who is up to no good, but wait! A fourth character makes an entrance in the final 10 minutes, with about one spoken line of dialogue, in a spectacularly fumbled attempt at a twist.
Insipid beyond salvation, The Morning After should have just stayed in bed.
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