Movie Review: The Holcroft Covenant (1985)

Genre: Thriller  

Director: John Frankenheimer  

Starring: Michael Caine, Victoria Tennant, Anthony Andrews, Lilli Palmer, Michael Lonsdale  

Running Time: 112 minutes  

Synopsis: 40 years after the end of World War Two, American architect Noel Holcroft (Michael Caine) receives shocking news from Swiss lawyer Manfredi (Michael Lonsdale). Holcroft's birth father General Heinrich Clausen, a remorseful high-ranking Nazi commander, left Noel a $4.5 billion fund to administer for good causes. Noel has to find two other Nazi offspring to co-sign the covenant, but evil forces are already at work to seize the fortune and use it for a nefarious plot.

What Works Well: This adaptation of Robert Ludlum's book enjoys an intriguing initial set-up, placing a world-influencing sum of money tantalizingly within reach of an ordinary architect for the purpose of redressing Nazi horrors. The globe trotting across major cities (New York, London, Berlin, Geneva) adds breathless glitz to the sense of danger, and the cinemaphotography rides a wave of Dutch angles.

What Does Not Work As Well: A confusing muddle of chases, assassinations, kidnappings, and undefined shadowy figures erode the plot's credibility. The unsophisticated script lacks coherence, and drags in too many characters including Noel's mother (Lilli Palmer), another son of a Nazi General and his sister (Anthony Edwards and Victoria Tennant), a wheelchair-bound anti-Nazi, an MI5 operative, and countless faceless hitmen. Director John Frankenheimer leaves motivations and explanations hidden for far too long, and the decent ending cannot rescue the fragmented mess.

Key Quote:

Manfredi: The world is full of lunatics shooting each other in the streets.

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Movie Review: Blame It On Rio (1984)

Genre: Romantic Farce  

Director: Stanley Donen  

Starring: Michael Caine, Joseph Bologna, Michelle Johnson, Demi Moore, Valerie Harper  
Running Time: 100 minutes  

Synopsis: With their marriage wobbling, Matthew and Karen (Michael Caine and Valerie Harper) go on separate vacations. Matthew heads to Rio with his teenaged daughter Nikki (Demi Moore), his best friend Victor (Joseph Bologna), who is going through a divorce, and Victor's daughter Jennifer (Michelle Johnson). Once in Rio, 43-year-old Matthew and 18-year-old Jennifer develop a mutual attraction and embark on an affair. Jennifer is thrilled that she has seduced an older man, but Matthew is horrified that he is sleeping with his buddy's daughter.

What Works Well: Michael Caine manages to raise his performance above the material, and rescues a few laughs. The Brazilian scenery, street life, and culture are captured with palpable vibrancy.

What Does Not Work As Well: The carnage of excessive nudity, obsession with ogling, and aggressive seduction cannot hide the failings of a limp script. Once Matthew and Jennifer trigger their illicit liaison, momentum grinds to a halt, with insufficient plot points to occupy the remaining hour. Apart from Caine, the performances range from over-acting (Bologna) to non-acting (Johnson and Moore). Adding to the icky premise is the stench of every adult character behaving as badly as possible, driven by hormones and with no regard for damage caused to friendships or long-term relationships.

Key Quote:

Matthew: Last night never happened.

Jennifer: I know. I was there when it didn't.

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Movie Review: Flawless (2007)

Genre: Heist Drama  

Director: Michael Radford  

Starring: Demi Moore, Michael Caine  

Running Time: 108 minutes  

Synopsis: In present-day London, Laura Quinn (Demi Moore) is being interviewed for a magazine article. In a flashback to 1960, she recalls her time as the only woman manager at the world's largest diamond trading company. Despite her abilities and intellect, Laura is repeatedly passed over for any further promotions. Elderly janitor Mr. Hobbs (Michael Caine) exploits her disgruntlement to lure her into a daring heist. The installation of a video security system threatens their plans, but Hobbs' intentions will surprise everyone.

What Works Well: The 1960s London setting, outfits, and hairstyles are attractive, the interior of the London Diamond Corporation building is impressive, and Michael Caine delivers a steely yet subdued veteran performance.

What Does Not Work As Well: Cerebral thrillers require close-to-watertight plotting, and Flawless falls well short. The heist mechanics vary from muddled to incredulous, essential details are skipped altogether (including, just as one example, the number of janitorial cart trips required to move two tons of diamonds), and too many indistinct stuffed bankers' shirts clutter the second half. The primary focus is ultimately misdirected: Mr. Hobbs is the more interesting instigator with a seemingly deep backstory, but he is sidelined by Laura as the bamboozled accomplice.

Key Quote:

Hobbs: Sometimes, to make something right, you have to do something just as wrong.

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Movie Review: Quicksand (2003)

Genre: Thriller  

Director: John MacKenzie  

Starring: Michael Keaton, Michael Caine  

Running Time: 95 minutes  

 

Synopsis: In the South of France, violence erupts between Russian gangsters and corrupt local officials. Separately, New York-based bank auditor Martin Raikes (Michael Keaton) travels to Nice to investigate suspicious transactions being funneled through a movie studio. He meets CFO Lela Forin (Judith Godrèche) and fading actor Jake Mellows (Michael Caine), but the studio otherwise looks suspiciously like a front for nefarious activity. When Martin refuses a bribe to look the other way, he is implicated in an assassination and forced to go on the run.

What Works Well: Some of the South of France locations are attractive.

What Does Not Work As Well: This is a fetid example of tax-credit funded filmmaking with a couple of stars lured into a vacation opportunity. Michael Keaton phones-in a disinterested performance, and he might as well, since the premise of a stiff bank executive suddenly becoming an action hero collapses early. Michael Caine barely features until the final 15 minutes and almost gets away with an in-joke as an actor purely in it for the money. Elsewhere, all the characters are defined by no more than three words: Russian mobster, corrupt cop, clueless CFO, has-been actor, ugly goon. The action sinks into the soullessness of machine-generated scripting, where elaborately framing a boring banker in a JFK conspiracy theory-type assassination is deemed the easiest way to eliminate his threat.

Conclusion: Firmly stuck in the muck.



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Movie Review: The Swarm (1978)

Genre: Disaster Thriller  

Director: Irwin Allen  

Starring: Michael Caine, Richard Widmark, Katharine Ross, Henry Fonda, Richard Chamberlain, Lee Grant, Olivia de Havilland  

Running Time: 155 minutes  

Synopsis: A swarm of killer bees originating from Africa kills most personnel at an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Base in the United States. The President appoints scientist Dr. Crane (Michael Caine) to lead the response, and he immediately clashes with the military's General Slater (Richard Widmark). Crane finds an ally in the base's medical officer Dr. Anderson (Katharine Ross), then recruits scientists Dr. Krim (Henry Fonda) and Dr. Hubbard (Richard Chamberlain) to try and develop a bee-defeating strategy. Meanwhile, the swarm attacks the nearby small town community of Marysville, then heads towards Houston.

What Works Well: The scenes of bees swarming fallen victims are impressively yucky.

What Does Not Work As Well: An inept and laughable script combines with plastic performances to contend for the title of worst 1970s-era disaster movie. The science is bad, the military response is worse, and most of the special effects are childish. Michael Caine and Richard Widmark embarrass themselves with frequent shouting matches, but Olivia De Havilland, Ben Johnson, and Fred MacMurray are also awful as participants in the cringiest of love triangles. Ross collapses and recovers multiple times, but still stumbles through a wedged-in romance with Caine. Lee Grant as a television journalist suddenly disappears, and only Henry Fonda as a wheelchair-bound scientist salvages a modicum of dignity.

Conclusion: As an unintended parody, The Swarm is pathetically funny.



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Movie Review: Best Sellers (2021)

Genre: Dramedy

Director: Lina Roessler

Starring: Michael Caine, Aubrey Plaza, Scott Speedman, Ellen Wong, Cary Elwes

Running Time: 102 minutes

Synopsis: Lucy Stanbridge (Aubrey Plaza) is running the book publishing house made famous by her father. In financial difficulty and desperate for a best-seller, she turns to crusty retired author Harris Shaw (Michael Caine), whose one and only book was published by Stanbridge 50 years prior. Shaw reluctantly agrees to publish his latest manuscript and go on a promotional tour, but he is more interested in drinking and swearing than promoting anything.

What Works Well: Working from an Anthony Grieco script, director Lina Roessler crafts a heartfelt story about the past influencing the present, both Harris and Lucy dealing with the burden of legacies and expectations. After a lighter introduction, the second half is more sorrowful, as Harris confronts his regrets and Lucy grapples with defining her own future. Aubrey Plaza and Michael Caine shine in their key moments, while Harris' foul-mouthed crankiness provides a reliable source of social media-ready humour.

What Does Not Work As Well: The material is slight and Roessler stretches it thin to clamber over the 100 minute mark. Internal inconsistencies arise once Harris' past insecurities clash with his present literary resonance. Meanwhile, Scott Speedman as a rival publisher and Cary Elwes as a haughty book critic are both marginally underused. Ellen Wong enjoys a strong start as Lucy's assistant but also fades.

Conclusion: Modest and modestly enjoyable reflection on life's jumbled epilogues and prologues.



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Movie Review: Get Carter (1971)

Genre: Crime Drama

Director: Mike Hodges

Starring: Michael Caine, Britt Ekland, Ian Hendry

Running Time: 112 minutes

Synopsis: After many years in London, gangster Jack Carter (Michael Caine) travels back to his hometown of Newcastle to investigate the death of his brother Frank. He catches up with his niece Doreen and Frank's mistress Margaret, and soon agitates the local mobsters. Jack eventually traces Frank's death to a sordid pornography ring involving rival crime bosses Kinnear (John Osborne) and Brumby (Bryan Mosley).

What Works Well: The grimy northeast England locations create a perfect milieu for a world of ruthless gangsters and their molls, and Michael Caine cuts through the terrain with dead-eyed efficiency. Director and writer Mike Hodges demonstrates the potency of combining soulless sex with soulless violence. Memorably epic scenes include Jack preferring a shotgun over any clothes, and a nihilistic climax along a beach appropriated for industry. Avant-garde editing and camera perspectives complement the grey cinematography.

What Does Not Work Well: The structure is a series of stitched-together scenes hampered by patchy, often slow pacing. The plot details are close to incomprehensible, and cluttered with numerous names and interchangeable thugs representing street-level goons and bosses in suits. Most of the women are portrayed poorly and treated worse. 

Conclusion: The gritty attitude extenuates narrative messiness.



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Movie Review: Noises Off... (1992)

A comedy about everything that can wrong in the world of theatre, Noises Off... competently adapts the stage show despite lacking the inherently essential on-the-edge energy.

In New York, theatre writer and director Lloyd Fellowes (Michael Caine) is worried about the Broadway opening of his latest farce Nothing On. In flashbacks, he recalls the show's origins. Months earlier, the final rehearsal before opening night in Des Moines, Iowa, reveals an utter lack of readiness, but the show somehow succeeds, leading to a national tour. 

Nothing On revolves around two amorous couples (John Ritter and Nicollette Sheridan; Christopher Reeve and Marilu Henner) making their way surreptitiously to a vacation house where housekeeper Dotty (Carol Burnett) believes she is alone and is just trying to watch television and eat a sardine dinner. A bumbling burglar (Denholm Elliott) adds to the hilarity. 

At a Florida performance, romantic rivalries among the cast members play out backstage as the play is performed. Later in Cleveland, a show goes completely off the rails due to jealousies and apathy. Nevertheless, the play makes it to Broadway, where Lloyd awaits the audience reaction.

An adaptation of the Michael Frayn play written for the screen by Marty Kaplan and directed by Peter Bogdanovich, Noises Off... is a valiant attempt to translate a quintessential stage experience to film. The play is about the stage and for the stage, celebrating real-time tension where every mishap is live, on full view, and has to be navigated on the spot. 

Film is a much more forgiving medium. Multiple camera angles, editing, and the separation between audience and performers rob the essence out of this material. Bogdanovich compensates with madcap pacing, breathless movement, attention to every detail, and smooth transitions to maximize the farce intentions, but sacrifices basics like character evolutions and depth. The lack of immediacy also adds tedium to the repetition, since the same material is viewed three times, albeit from backstage for the middle, and funniest, act. 

The ensemble cast members generally do well, matching over-acting dopiness with on-stage persona theatricality for maximum laughs. John Ritter's character is incapable of making any coherent points but insists on trying; Christopher Reeve is insecure and knows it; Denholm Elliott is magnetically attracted to alcohol; and Nicollette Sheridan aces the prototypical dumb blonde and spends most of the movie in her lingerie. 

Carol Burnett is comfortable as the crotchety housekeeper Dotty, but her obsession with sardines gets tired well before the final curtain. Marilu Henner makes less of an impression while Julie Hagerty and Mark Linn-Baker round out the cast. Overseeing them all is Michael Caine, and his role is just too easy as the exasperated writer and director attempting to herd his talent-challenged cast and crew. 

Reeve developing a nose bleed at the slightest sign of conflict and Sheridan losing her contact lens at the most inopportune moments are effective go-to comic landings. Noises Off... misses the thrill of the stage, but still finds flashes of wackiness.



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Movie Review: The Whistle Blower (1986)

A Cold War domestic spy drama, The Whistle Blower examines the corrosive effects of internecine mistrust.

In England, Frank Jones (Michael Caine) is a retired intelligence officer now running a small business. His son Bob (Nigel Havers) is an admirer of Russian culture employed by Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) as a language specialist. Britain's intelligence community is rocked by the revelation that high-ranking official Dodgson (Bill Wallis) is a Soviet spy, and the government fears America will lose trust in Britain and stop sharing intelligence.

An elaborate secret plan is activated to flush-out Dodgson's fellow-conspirators, while Bob grows disillusioned at the corrosive culture of suspicion seeping into his workplace. When other intelligence officers start to die, Bob decides to blow the whistle, and Frank is reluctantly drawn back into a world of intrigue.

A British production adapting the John Hale book and directed by Simon Langton, The Whistle Blower is a well-constructed John le Carré-type grey spy drama. The multiplying dead bodies do become far-fetched and the exact nature of the whistle blowing is more MacGuffin than scandal, but otherwise this is a satisfying, cerebral, and caustic exposé of the intelligence industry feeding on its young.

The movie derives strength from insularity. All the key characters are British, suspiciously circling each other as fear of treason becomes a self-inflicted poison. How the Americans may perceive an incompetent Britain riddled with compromised agents is the overriding concern. Langton and co-writer Julian Bond expand this theme to encompass doubts besetting the guardians of a crumbling Empire reduced to pleasing others instead of exerting dominance.

Elsewhere the exasperating protections afforded by a permanent class system emerge as another unhelpful pillar of the British structure. Frank, Bob, and scrappy reporter Bill Pickett (Kenneth Colley) are working class men easily used or discarded.  Well-connected aristocrats like agent-turned-fixer Charles Greig (Barry Foster) and Sir Adrian Chapple (John Gielgud) play by different rules altogether.

In a weighty and fully engaged performance, Michael Caine trudges through the drizzle with a resigned sense of fading pride in his country. Once a servant and now a father, his Frank Jones is forced to question everything he once stood for, but The Whistle Blower finds no moments of joy in the dirty business of cleaning house.



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Movie Review: Too Late The Hero (1970)

A World War Two action adventure, Too Late The Hero tries to tap into anti-war sentiment but succumbs to self-inflicted wounds.

It's 1942 in the South Pacific. Lieutenant Sam Lawson (Cliff Robertson) of the US Navy is a Japanese language expert content to sit out the war away from any battles. But his commander Captain John Nolan (Henry Fonda) presses Lawson into a mission to help British troops attack a critical Japanese communications station on the New Hebrides Islands.

Lawson finds the British soldiers unmotivated and ill-disciplined, and the access route to their base a poorly defended turkey shoot gallery frequently targeted by Japanese patrols. The unit's medic Private Tosh Hearne (Michael Caine) agitates insubordination, while Private Campbell (Ronald Fraser) fakes injury to try and avoid service. Lawson joins a ragtag commando group led by the bumbling Captain Hornsby (Denholm Elliott) for the mission to traverse the island and take out the Japanese target, but reaching the objective is only the first of many challenges to come.

Produced, directed, and co-written by Robert Aldrich, Too Late The Hero shoots itself in the foot early and often, caught in no-man's land between the director's celebrated The Dirty Dozen and growing audience intolerance for celebrating war heroics. The on-location setting (filmed in the Philippines) and a humidity-dominated aesthetic offer a decent backdrop. But the "war is hell" message is simplified into a collection of soldiers uninterested in being soldiers and witlessly conceiving methods to avoid their duties for the entire 134 minutes of running time.

No joy can be found in a toxic intent to fail, a desire to undermine the mission, blatantly unprofessional conduct, and an eagerness to bail or surrender, all compounded by utter incompetence. Everyone here acts as foolishly as possible as often as possible. The base defense strategies deployed by both sides are beyond inept. The level of marksmanship is most proficient at hitting friendly targets. Soldiers sing and argue loudly in enemy territory. And a Japanese commander wastes precious time engaging in loudspeaker-in-the-jungle games. 

The overall context is no better. Aldrich is unable to create tension and misses every opportunity to leverage a sense of time or space. The plot meanders from the raid on the communications hub to the commando team's remnants stumbling upon a secret airfield before embarking on a long trek back to base. Any remaining momentum then dissipates in an endless and toothless cat-and-mouse surrender-or-die duel, with no overarching theme holding the elements together.

Michael Cain and Cliff Robertson are capable of so much better, and very late in the final act their sweaty commitment hints at the potential for better character dynamics. But by then it's too little and definitely too late for any hero to salvage this mess.



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Movie Review: Billion Dollar Brain (1967)

The third film in a series adapting author Len Deighton's Harry Palmer spy adventures to the screen, Billion Dollar Brain steers towards buffoonish satire and crashes into a miserable failure.

In London, Palmer (Michael Caine) has left MI5 and is working as a private investigator. He refuses overtures by his former boss Colonel Ross (Guy Doleman) to return to the service, instead accepting a computer-issued assignment to deliver a package to Helsinki. There he meets Anya (Françoise Dorléac) and her partner Leo Newbigen (Karl Malden), who are involved in a plot financed by Texas megalomaniac General Midwinter (Ed Begley) to fight communism with the help of computer analytics.

Deploying strong arm tactics, Ross does succeed in convincing Palmer to rejoin MI5. Palmer makes his way to Latvia's capital Riga and gets reacquainted with his jovial Soviet foe Colonel Stok (Oskar Homolka). Palmer uncovers Midwinter's plan to force the Soviets out of Latvia, and realizes Leo has his own agenda to make a lot of money on the side. 

Combining controversial director Ken Russell with a spy milieu in frigid surroundings was always going to be a risk, and sure enough, it just does not work. Producer Harry Saltzman ends up with a mess on his hands, Billion Dollar Brain falling into a wide gap between muddled espionage, failed satire, and low-brow humour.

The opening act quickly loses balance, Palmer poking his business into a murky plot, allowing himself to be led by the nose first by Anya, then Leo, and finally Ross. The action goes completely off the rails with the introduction of nut case General Midwinter, Ed Begley not just chewing the scenery but also vomiting on it with no hint of control. By this point Oskar Homolka's Colonel Stok is undressing in Palmer's hotel room and exiting through the balcony in search of cheap laughs. The plot finally consumes itself in the idiocy of Midwinter leading an army - assembled out of nowhere and packed into tanker trucks - in an absurd attempt to liberate Latvia.

As Stok, Leo, and Midwinter form of a trio of lunatics commanding the asylum, Palmer is mostly an observer and doofus victim primarily concerned with seducing Anya. Russell wastes scenic Nordic and Eastern European surroundings with his uncoordinated antics, and the main point of interest defaults to glossy scenes of large computer rooms representing the era's state of the science. But even the imbecilic title premise of a computer issuing orders and plotting wars is undermined by the ease with which Leo reprograms the machine to suit his purpose. As it turns out, a billion dollars does not buy much of a brain.

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Movie Review: The Fourth Protocol (1987)

A Cold War thriller, The Fourth Protocol features a slick bombing plot but weak characterizations and derivative details.

In London, MI5 agents John Preston (Michael Caine) and Sir Nigel Irvine (Ian Richardson) uncover government official Berenson as a spy. They turn him to feed false intelligence to Irvine's KGB rival Karpov (Ray McAnally). In the USSR, Karpov is not aware his power-hungry boss Govorshin (Alan North) has recruited agent Valeri Petrofsky (Pierce Brosnan) for a false flag mission to detonate an atomic bomb at a NATO base in the UK. Karpov eventually gets wind of the plan from his ally Borisov (Ned Beatty).

Petrofsky travels to the UK, rents an apartment near a NATO base, and starts to collect the bomb components from Soviet courier agents. Preston suspects a plot is unfolding when he intercepts a detonator and locates a Soviet communications hub on English soil transmitting suspicious messages. KGB agent Irina Vassilievna (Joanna Cassidy) arrives to help Petrofsky assemble the bomb, as Preston races to connect the dots.

Based on the book by Frederick Forsyth, The Fourth Protocol carries a threat and teases out admirable tactical details, but is essentially a distilled version of The Day Of The Jackal. Here Petrofsky is the silent assassin going about his business with grim-faced efficiency as his counterpoint Preston scrambles to gather clues. Despite expansive direction by John Mackenzie, making excellent use of dreary English locations, the action ticks by rather soullessly.

Apart from the title barely being explained, a central problem is Petrofsky's nominal role in his own plot. Deploying a singular glare, Pierce Brosnan is left stranded, his character hired to push a button and otherwise reduced to a courier zooming on his motorcycle this way then that to collect pieces of the bomb, but not even tasked with assembling the components. Petrofsky has to kill a few people to keep the plot on course, but most of his victims are extras.

Much better is John Preston, navigating the bureaucracy of the British secret service and dealing with a buffoon of a careerist boss (Julian Glover as a suitably despicable pencil pusher). Michael Caine never needs to stretch, but ensures sustained watchability as the political Cold War subtext is presented with potent urgency. Public opinion in Britain is portrayed as turning against militarization, and especially opposed to the deployment of American bombers equipped with nuclear weapons. Govorshin of course times the detonation to coincide with thousands of protesters gathering at the NATO base.

Serviceable but not quite notable, The Fourth Protocol offers adequate ticks and borrowed tocks.



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Movie Review: The Italian Job (1969)

A heist comedy, The Italian Job features the memorable escapades of a trio of nimble Mini Coopers in Turin, but is otherwise bland and rarely funny.

In Italy, heist-planner Beckermann (Rossano Brazzi) is murdered by a Mafia group controlled by Altabani (Raf Vallone). In England, professional thief Charlie Croker (Michael Caine) is released from prison and into the arms of girlfriend Lorna (Maggie Blye). Then Beckermann's widow hands Charlie her late husband's plan for an audacious theft of a gold shipment in Turin.

The plot involves slowing down the armoured convoy transporting the gold from the airport by sabotaging the city's computerized traffic control system to cause a massive traffic jam. Charlie convinces incarcerated criminal mastermind Mr. Bridger (Noël Coward) to finance the operation, and recruits a team of drivers and computer expert Professor Peach (Benny Hill). But Altabani is not pleased with a group of Brits planning a heist on his turf.

The final 30 minutes of The Italian Job feature a carefree demonstration - and perfect advertisement - for the Mini Cooper. The three cars in Union Jack colours zoom up and down stairs, on narrow sidewalks, in sewer pipes, and up upon roof structures, completing wild stunts as Charlie and his gang make their escape with Italian police vehicles in hot pursuit.

The cars just about save the day and are much more memorable than anything else in the movie. The Troy Kennedy Martin script, directed by Peter Collinson, is devoid of edge and wit. The simplistic Brits-outsmarting-Italians narrative is cluttered with wrecked cars and just as many cheaply defined characters, and even Charlie rides on Michael Caine's natural charisma and nothing else. The heist details are barely sketched-in, and none of the other gang members are provided even the courtesy of a decent introduction.

Unfortunately Professor Peach does get some attention, Benny Hill crashing the party and bringing his unwelcome dumb and lecherous persona to the big screen. 

The rest of the movie is a celebration of Noël Coward's flamboyance, as Mr. Bridger pulls the strings of his criminal empire from within the cosy confines of a prison while stridently demonstrating unbridled nationalism. The sheer mention of his name is enough to cow the Mafia into submission, The Italian Job blissfully prolonging the fantasy of lingering British influence.



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Movie Review: California Suite (1978)

A tactless comedy with dashes of drama, California Suite oscillates between pompous and cretinous.

Four unrelated stories take place over one weekend at the same Beverly Hills hotel. Divorced couple Hannah (Jane Fonda) and Bill (Alan Alda) meet to discuss the future of their 17 year old daughter Jenny. New Yorker Hannah is a highly-strung news editor who thrives on prickly insults and sharp retorts, while Bill has become much more laid back since he relocated to Los Angeles. The couple bicker endlessly.

Veteran English stage actress Diana Barrie (Maggie Smith) is nominated for her first Academy Award for an unworthy role in the frivolous comedy No Left Turns. Her husband Sidney Cochran (Michael Caine), an antique dealer, is her companion for the Oscar ceremony. Diana is nervous about the evening and leans on Sidney for emotional support, but all is not well in their relationship.

Marvin (Walter Matthau) is in town for his nephew's bar mitzvah. His brother Harry (Herb Edelman) is a lecherous womanizer, and arranges for a prostitute (Denise Galik) to entertain Marvin in his hotel room. The situation gets messier when Marvin's wife Millie (Elaine May) arrives the next morning.

Doctors Chauncey Gump (Richards Pryor) and Willis Panama (Bill Cosby) and their wives are on a joint vacation and getting testy. The hotel messes up their booking, with the Gumps confined to a faulty closet-sized room while the Panamas enjoy a luxury suite. The vacation goes rapidly downhill from there.

Writer Neil Simon adapted his own play, and in the hands of director Herbert Ross what may have worked on the stage flops badly on the screen. Essentially four separate 25 minute sketches populated by distinctly unlikable people, California Suite generates a couple of chuckles but otherwise curls up into a small ball and dies. 

Worst of all is the segment featuring the Black doctors played by Richard Pryor and Bill Cosby. Their misadventures descend into low-brow slapstick of the pathetic kind, a miserable and painful waste of talent.

Two of the other sketches are not much better. Jane Fonda and Alan Alda are forced to spout Simon's artificially agitated hyper-intellectual theatrical prose, and their incessant sniping is quickly insufferable. Walter Matthau wrings some humour from the hapless middle-aged man trying to hide a passed-out hooker from his wife, but is ultimately defeated by material stretched too thin.

Maggie Smith and Michael Caine almost save the day with the one reasonably compelling and well-written story. Actress Diana and antique dealer Sidney's marriage is complex, and made more intricate by her propensity for drama and his caustic street-smarts. They both clearly benefit from the union, but barely concealed secrets and frustrations are nibbling away at their contentment. While far from perfect and still saddled with loquacity, this episode at least creates a memorable pair. 

Maggie Smith nabbed a real Oscar for a forgettable movie in which she is Oscar nominated for a silly comedy. From the few snippets shown No Left Turns is indeed dire, but also potentially still better than California Suite.



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Movie Review: Battle Of Britain (1969)

A World War Two historical drama, Battle Of Britain recreates epic dogfights and bombing raids, but fails to generate any sense of narrative engagement.

It's 1940, and with France's capitulation to the advancing armies of Nazi Germany looking assured, Britain's Air Chief Marshal Sir Hugh Dowding (Laurence Olivier) concludes all air force resources should be consolidated at home for the upcoming defence effort. After the Allies are defeated and evacuated from Dunkirk, the United Kingdom stands alone and braces for an invasion.

Commander-in-Chief of the Luftwaffe Hermann Göring (Hein Riess) is confident an air force bombing campaign can quickly gain command of the skies. But the British rally, aided by the superior maneuverability of the Spitfire compared to the German Messerschmitt Bf 109. In months of aerial combat including the bombing of cities, both sides endure heavy losses.

A Harry Saltzman production directed by Guy Hamilton, Battle Of Britain features numerous sequences of painstakingly staged combat in the skies. Most of the budget was invested in authentic scenes of Spitfires intercepting German bombers and engaging with Messeschmitts, as the Luftwaffe attempts to knock out radar installations and airfields before targeting London in retaliation for the British bombing of Berlin. In return the Royal Air Force musters every available fighter plane and pilot to mount a spirited defence, taking advantage of German hubris and strategic mistakes to inflict heavy losses on the attackers and Göring's pride.

Unsurprisingly the combat scenes grow quite repetitive. Scenes of planes catching fire, exploding in mid-air or hurtling to the ground become tiresome with incessant recurrence, as do the visuals of pilots killed in cockpits or air crews attempting to bail out of flaming bombers.

And outside the combat scenes, Battle Of Britain stutters and stalls. Despite an overlong running time of 132 minutes, the strategic, tactical and personal contexts are either sketched at rudimentary levels or missing altogether. The on-the-ground interludes are haphazardly assembled with no regard for flow. In a case of quantity over quality, a cast featuring a who's who of British acting talent fails to create a single memorable character or worthwhile storyline. Michael Caine, Robert Shaw, Christopher Plummer, Trevor Howard, Harry Andrews, Michael Redgrave, Patrick Wymark and Ralph Richardson (among many others) get a few glib lines each in poorly defined roles as airmen, squadron leaders or commanders, all to no effect. And as pilots masked and belted into their cramped cockpits, all the actors are essentially undifferentiated.

Some of the attempts to create human stories are laughably inept, including a clunky marital tiff between Plummer and Susannah York. Ian McShane receives what should have been the one good moment involving family sacrifice, but his chapter drops in and out with no meaningful setup or follow-through, losing all impact.

Battle Of Britain is all about flying hardware, hearts and souls forgotten on the ground.



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Movie Review: Harry Brown (2009)

A vigilante thriller, Harry Brown introduces an elderly protagonist but otherwise plunders well-worn material with an overreliance on gore.

In London, pensioner and ex-Marine Harry Brown (Michael Caine) lives in a derelict estate terrorized by violent drug-dealing thugs led by Noel (Ben Drew). The gang members hang out in a nearby pedestrian underpass and do business at the pub run by Sid (Liam Cunningham). Brown's sick wife dies in hospital, then his only friend Len (David Bradley) tangles with the goons and is murdered.

Detective Inspector Alice Frampton (Emily Mortimer) starts to investigate Len's killing, but her interrogations are futile. With nothing to live for Harry takes matters into his own hands. He stabs one of the gang members to repulse a mugging then infiltrates a hideout on the pretext of buying a gun and confronts two drug-addicted goons. But his real target is Noel, who will be difficult to track down.

A relatively straightforward reimagining of Death Wish and all its imitators, Harry Brown adds the original but questionable spin of a pensioner pushed to the point of not caring. Harry dusts off his military skills and goes a-killing, but he suffers from emphysema, can barely run and has to rely on some guile to compensate. This could be Bryan Mills' father now displaying his special skills, but the concept is understandably starting to fray.

Michael Caine provides the only source of depth, and conveys a sense of pain, suffering, and disenchantment with a world where criminals rule the streets. But otherwise director Daniel Barber and writer Gary Young resort to stock characters not defined beyond "soulless thug" and "police officer". Similarly no social context or perceptive commentary is provided for the milieu of anarchy in London, where youth are terrorizing a neighbourhood with no consequence.

Stylistically Barber takes his time with a few of the scenes, Brown's visit to the den of two drug-crazed criminals a gradual reveal of a horror house, including a large pot grow-op, a young woman overdosing, and no shortage of guns for sale. The grim aesthetics, pervasive vulgarity and occasional displays of spurting blood wash over the movie to create an overbearing sense of bleak nihilism.

Harry Brown is an old man forced into action, but unfortunately his quest for vengeance is an all too familiar cinematic mission.

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Movie Review: The Eagle Has Landed (1976)

A World War Two fictional adventure, The Eagle Has Landed imagines a far-fetched German covert mission to kidnap Britain's Prime Minister Winston Churchill.

As the war draws to a close and Germany's defeat appears inevitable, Colonel Max Radl (Robert Duvall) is asked to study the feasibility of a mission concocted by Adolf Hitler to kidnap Churchill, with the intention of suing for more favorable peace terms. Radl learns Churchill will be passing through a lightly defended Norfolk village a few miles from Britain's east coast, and Heinrich Himmler (Donald Pleasence) secures Hitler's blanket authority to proceed with the plan.

Radl recruits Colonel Kurt Steiner (Michael Caine), a maverick commander of elite paratroopers, to lead the mission. With IRA sympathizer Professor Liam Devlin (Donald Sutherland) inserted as a covert agent, Steiner and his men infiltrate the target English village disguised as Polish commandos. But the nearby presence of American troops led by Colonel Pitts (Larry Hagman) and Captain Clark (Treat Williams) will complicate the mission, as will Devlin unexpectedly falling in love with local girl Molly (Jenny Agutter).

An Anglo-American production relatively uniquely adopting a German perspective, The Eagle Has Landed is an adaptation of a Jack Higgins novel directed by John Sturges (his final film) and written by Tom Mankiewicz. Despite the production talent and a stellar cast, The Eagle Has Landed sputters and disappoints.

The better World War Two fictional mission movies like The Guns Of Navarone and Where Eagles Dare succeed because of the investment in the likelihood of success or failure in achieving an objective which could have been real. Winston Churchill is simply too prominent as a fictional target to enable the suspension of disbelief, especially when The Eagle Has Landed spends no time with the British side until late in the movie.

What remains is a messy narrative about German paratroopers descending on a quaint village, distracted by a lukewarm romance for Devlin, an unconvincing turn by Michael Caine as an independent-minded commando leader, and an ill-conceived and unnecessary comedy interlude courtesy of Larry Hagman's bumbling Colonel Pitts.

Robert Duvall disappears from long stretches of the film, and the plot's weakness is best exemplified by the notion that Churchill would continue to travel towards a town where a major firefight has erupted with enemy forces. Of course there is a twist in the end, but due to the preceding plot weaknesses it arrives with minimal impact.

Sturges handles the action scenes reasonably well, and some impressive countryside visuals entertain the eyes while Caine, Sutherland and Duvall struggle to elevate the material. Although the eagle did land, it also laid an egg.

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Movie Review: Going In Style (2017)

A geriatric comedy, Going In Style is a stodgy story about three desperate old men plotting a bank robbery.

In New York City, retirees Joe, Willie and Albert (Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Alan Arkin) are stunned to learn that after a lifetime of blue collar work, their company pension is disappearing due to a corporate takeover and offshore relocation. Facing financial ruin, Joe concocts a plan to rob a bank, inspired by having recently witnessed a hold-up.

Willie reluctantly agrees to participate, but Al, who is pursuing a romance with Annie (Ann-Margret), is unsure and needs more convincing. After a botched training run to steal from a local supermarket, the trio reach out to Joe's connected former son-in-law Murphy and shady pet store owner Jesus (John Ortiz) for help. The three friends proceed with planning and training for the heist, but FBI Agent Hamer (Matt Dillon) will be a challenging foe.

An imminently forgettable remake of a 1979 George Burns film, Going In Style is a flimsy excuse for three veteran actors to parade across the screen. With no laughs and no edge to be found in the Theodore Melfi script, director Zach Braff resorts to basic juvenile and unconvincing antics to try and squeeze some entertainment out of an exhausted premise.

While Caine, Freeman and Arkin are dependable performers, they essentially sleepwalk through the movie by leaning on their pre-established screen personas to compensate for missing character depth. The story meekly attempts and miserably fails to stoke the flames of seething anger against faceless corporations and greedy banks padding their bottom lines at the expense of the little people.

Instead, Going In Style settles for a mundane plot consisting of hapless wannabe crooks bumbling their way to an unconvincing heist against a backdrop of constant bickering to simulate friendship. A serious disease, strained family dynamics and a tentative romance are predictably thrown in as sub-plots to activate when convenient.

Neither smart nor stylish, Going In Style has nothing going for it.

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Movie Review: Mona Lisa (1986)

A crime drama and romance, Mona Lisa offers a gritty London milieu, but the story of an unlikely business and personal relationship lacks some texture.

In London, low-level hoodlum George (Bob Hoskins) is released from prison after serving seven years. His former associates under the leadership of sex club owner and mobster boss Denny Mortwell (Michael Caine) give him a job as the chauffeur for expensive call girl Simone (Cathy Tyson). Initially the sophisticated Simone and the excitable George clash over everything, but gradually a friendship evolves.

She confides in him about her past as a street prostitute regularly abused by her pimp Anderson (Clarke Peters), and requests George's help in finding her close friend Cathy, a young prostitute also suffering Anderson's mistreatment. George tries to mend his relationship with his daughter Jeannie (Zoë Nathenson), but is drawn into a heap of trouble and violence as he wades deeper into Simone's world.

A grim descent into London's slimy underbelly, Mona Lisa is a rough English equivalent of Taxi Driver, at least in spirit and intent if not overall quality. The story of an irrelevant and coarse man enchanted by an unattainable woman carries possibilities, and director Neil Jordan (who also co-wrote the script) teases an evocative performance out of Bob Hoskins in the lead role.

But once George falls under Simone's spell and embarks on a quest to find her friend Cathy, the film stagnates. The antagonists of this world, as defined by Mortwell and Anderson, are exceptionally poorly defined. Michael Caine sleepwalks through his few scenes, while the supposedly menacing Anderson is reduced to a generic jack-in-the-box presence, popping up to randomly chase and threaten people at designated intervals.

Much better is the core bond between scrappy driver and sophisticated call girl, and Mona Lisa draws its warmth from the emerging dynamic between them. They navigate past the hostile stage and allow an asymmetrical friendship to develop as George starts to fall hard for Simone and extrapolates potential beyond reality. Again Jordan stumbles over the final few hurdles, and once George understands his emotional misplacement Mona Lisa limps over the finish line in more common thriller land.

Newcomer Cathy Tyson has an enigmatic screen presence and adds a layer of allure to Simone's secrets, metaphorically representing the mysterious smile of the title painting.

Stylish and carrying a strong sense of place, Mona Lisa ventures through a sordid version of London and finds a mix of organic and generic.

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Movie Review: Youth (2015)

A low-key drama reflecting on life, Youth toys with many deep themes but never quite commits.

Fred Ballinger (Michael Caine) is a retired classical music composer and orchestra conductor, vacationing at an exclusive Swiss spa with longtime friend Mick Boyle (Harvey Keitel), a film writer and director. Fred's daughter Lena (Rachel Weisz) arranged the spa vacation and is in a serious relationship with Mick's son. Fred is content to focus on quiet relaxation and otherwise do nothing, and rebuffs attempts by the Queen's representative to perform at a royal celebration. Mick still hopes to write and direct a film with his frequent collaborator actress Brenda Morel (Jane Fonda).

Other guests at the spa include actor Jimmy Tree (Paul Dano), who is resentful the public knows him only for his most frivolous role, an exceptionally overweight former star footballer, and a beauty queen. As the vacation progresses Fred expresses his sorrow at the loss of his wife, Lena freely admits her disappointment in her father before encountering a shock of her own, and Mick struggles to finish his screenplay before coming to terms with the status of his career.

Set almost entirely within a lavish upscale resort nestled in the scenic alps, Youth is full of rich visuals and piercing artistry. Director and writer Paolo Sorrentino is as interested in capturing stunning images as he is in recounting a story, and the film is frequently punctuated by exquisitely rendered tableaux featuring people and places almost suspended in time. Many of the creative shots focus on tertiary characters and have little to do with the main characters.

As for the content, Youth is more about commentary and exposition than traditional plot points. Life-long friendship, tension between father and daughter, recognizing the essence of retirement, and reflecting on life's achievements, losses and regrets are the prominent themes. The threads are only loosely tied together, and Sorrentino is happy to vaguely wave at the glistening recollection of youth from the opposite end of life's journey as a unifying concept.

With both Fred and Mick at the twilight of life, there is precious little space for characters arcs, and so the film settles for soulful backward glances. Eschewing flashbacks, Sorrentino relies on his cast to convey the past through the words and actions of the present. Michael Caine is more comfortable with a soulful role celebrating the great compositions and performances in Fred's memory. Harvey Keitel is required to stray just a bit too far from his traditional level of comfort in hardened roles.

Despite light touches of humour acting as a spice, the abundant creative imagery prolongs the running time to over two hours, and Youth inevitably suffers from slow pacing. The eclectic guests overstay their welcome, but they look good doing it.

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