Sunday 11 July 2010

Movie Review: My Bloody Valentine (2009)

It is not common for cheap slasher films to bother with issues such as love triangles and personality disorders, so let's give My Bloody Valentine some credit for at least trying to be a bit different. However, the small sparks of originality are buried under a sludge of uninspired cliches painfully extracted from the bottom of the horror movie barrel.

In the small mining town of Harmony, Sarah (Jaime King) is the center of attention for both her husband Axel (Kerr Smith) and returning old-flame Tom (Jensen Ackles), who is back in town to close the family-owned mine. Ten year earlier, a murderer dressed as a menacing miner slashed his way through town, with Sarah, Axel and Tom among the survivors.

Now the the bodies start piling up once more as the killer miner terrorizes the community; Tom falls for Sarah all over again but is also haunted by his abandonment of the town ten years ago; the residents want to run Tom out of town rather than let him close the mine; and Axel just wants him gone to stop Sarah from lusting after her old lover.

As directed by Patrick Lussier, My Bloody Valentine is a mostly witless exercise with events that make no sense; characters showing up at various locations with little regard for the laws of time and space; and some really quick wardrobe changes designed with the sole purpose of confusing the audience. The film offers precious little that is not borrowed or adapted from countless other similar and better slasher flicks.

This 2009 version of the original 1981 effort was a 3D release in its short theatre run, so it's full of axes and gore being unnecessarily flung at the cameras in pathetic admission that the movie itself is of little value. At least the filmmakers got that part right.

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