Movie Review: Private School (1983)

A teen sex comedy, Private School adheres closely to the lowbrow formula of mixing predictable hormonal-driven humour with superfluous nudity.

At the private Cherryvale all-girls school, Chris (Phoebe Cates) is plotting to finally have sex with long-time boyfriend Jim (Matthew Modine), a student at the nearby all-boys school. Chris' nemesis Jordan (Betsy Russell) sets out to seduce Jim. Meanwhile, Jim's friend Bubba (Michael Zorek) is obsessed with peeping at girls in various stages of undress, although he does have a steady girlfriend in Betsy (Kathleen Wilhoite), who is Chris' roommate. Headmistress Miss Dutchbok (Fran Ryan) tries to keep a lid on all the raging hormones.

Notable for a cast featuring Phoebe Cates after her breakout success in Fast Times At Ridgemont High, a pre-stardom Matthew Modine and a post-Emmanuelle Sylvia Kristel as the sex education teacher, Private School does not stray far from the lowest possible expectations. Joining the numerous films stampeding into theatres after Porky's crashed open the door to the commercial viability of movies targeting male teens most interested in ogling nude women, Private School is a low-budget, witless, formulaic exercise in imbecility on both sides of the camera.

The humour is rarely funny, the behaviour of the teens is uniformly dumb, and the entirety of what passes as fragments of plot revolves around chasing after sex or voyeurism. Typical for films of the era, this is a primarily male teen fantasy view of the world, and for the most part the girls are subjects to be exploited, both by the filmmakers (Noel Black is the director) and the characters.

If the film has one morsel of redemption, it resides in Jordan displaying sexual fortitude of her own to manipulate the boys (although she is made to suffer for her aggressiveness), and Chris deciding for herself on the right time to have sex with Jim.

To ensure that the film is fully consigned to the scrapheap, Private School plays out to an excruciatingly bad soundtrack of hideous early 1980s by-the-numbers pop, the quality of the music matching the on-screen material, equal opportunity garbage for both the eyes and the ears.

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Movie Review: Gremlins (1984)

A comic-horror adventure with mischievous killer creatures taking over a small town, Gremlins enjoys a decent opening but runs out of ideas half-way through, and degenerates into silly puppeteering overload.

In a mysterious Chinatown shop, eccentric inventor Rand Peltzer (Hoyt Axton) buys a small furry creature called a Mogwai as a Christmas present for his teenaged son Billy (Zach Galligan). The Mogwai comes with three strict rules: the creature should not be exposed to bright light and particularly not direct sunlight, should not come in contact with water, and should never be fed after midnight. In the family's quaint hometown of Kingston Falls, Billy calls his new pet Gizmo and does his best to adhere by the rules, but when an accident caused by neighbourhood kid Pete (Corey Feldman) spills water on Gizmo, the creature emits fur balls and each becomes a new Mogwai. One of the new offspring has a mohawk and a mean streak, and is labelled Stripe.

Zach seeks the help of his high school science teacher (Glynn Turman), who starts to run blood tests on one of the Mogwai. The playfully malicious creatures (with the exception of Gizmo) then get their hands on some food after midnight, and after a cocoonish incubation period they transforms into ugly looking evil monsters, intent on death and destruction. Zach's mother Lynn (Frances Lee McCain) has to fight off the gremlins in her kitchen, but Stripe escapes, jumps into a pool, and creates a large army of cohorts. As the number of victims grows, Zach and his potential girlfriend Kate (Phoebe Cates) have to find a way to stop the gremlins before the whole town is destroyed.

With Steven Spielberg as Executive Producer and an effective premise, the opening 40 minutes of Gremlins feature an entertaining build-up. Director Joe Dante, working from a Chris Columbus script, takes his time in introducing the little critters, the Chinatown scene appropriately mysterious, and the initial tour through Kingston Falls setting a rich stage for the mayhem to come and the colourful locals who will soon become victims.

The kitchen battle scene between Mom and the first group of gremlins is a highlight, small appliances being put to good use, both the blender and microwave getting to grips with the ugly critters and causing quite the gremlin gore and juice mess.

But then the film's energy ebbs away, as the novelty wears off and Dante settles for the obvious: numerous shots of numerous gremlins behaving badly, the yuks disappearing as familiarity takes over. And it's a common problem, a running gag about Dad's useless inventions equally floundering on the rocks of repetition. Like all jokes that stretch too far, Gremlins goes from funny to boring in a hurry.

The lack of charisma in the central role does not help. Once the mayhem erupts, Zach Galligan is given very little to do, and Billy mostly comes across as an unconvincing dork playing second fiddle to an evil version of the muppet show. Better but still underutilized is Phoebe Cates, and at least she gets to deliver the film's best spooky story, sharing the reason why she really does not like Christmas. Judge Reinhold has a small role that seems to have suffered severely in the editing room.

Gremlins is funny when it's furry, but soggy when it's slimy.

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Movie Review: Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982)

A high school sex farce that set new standards for raunchiness, Fast Times At Ridgemont High is a bold comedy with the added credibility of being based on screenwriter Cameron Crowe's undercover observations at a real high school. A fresh cast of newcomers would spawn several future super stars, enhancing the movie's legendary status.

The coolest dude in the Ridgemont High School community is surfer Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn). He is constantly stoned, mellow beyond caring, but probably the smartest kid in school, if he would ever clear his head to find out. Around him swirls a tornado of uncontrolled hormones. 15-year-old Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), who works at the coolest food outlet in the local hang-out mall, has yet to have any sexual encounters, but is eager to start. Her best friend Linda (Phoebe Cates) is encouraging her to go ahead and experiment, although Linda's claims to be sexually experienced sound more like bravado than reality.


Mark "Rat" Ratner (Brian Backer) is an usher at the mall movie theatre and is interested in Stacy, but despite the sage advice of his smooth friend Mike Damone (Robert Romanus), Mark is unsure and hesitant, leaving Stacy cold. Her rush to find physical intimacy ends with unsatisfactory sex, first with an older student and then unexpectedly with Damone; the result is an unwanted surprise. Meanwhile, Stacy's older brother Brad (Judge Reinhold) is bouncing between jobs trying to make enough money to pay for his car while plotting a break-up with his girlfriend and lusting after Linda.

Cameron Crowe was a freelance writer who went undercover at a San Diego high school and wrote the book on which the movie is based. This was the start of Crowe's film career, and artistic exaggerations aside, his script reflects the reality of the way teens talk, behave, and think.

Remarkably, Fast Times At Ridgemont High was Amy Heckerling's directing debut. Recognizing the depth of talent at her disposal, she quickly settles on an almost documentary style, her cameras simply recording teens living their misadventures. Crowe and Heckerling maintain sparkle and momentum by rotating scenes among their main characters.


Fast Times At Ridgemont High was Sean Penn's second screen role and his breakout performance. Dominating with utter ambivalence, Spicoli is the type of character who can either become a future corporate leader or an unidentified dead body in the gutter. Penn leaves us guessing, Spicoli operating in a constant fog of weed but demonstrating flashes of social and intellectual brilliance that hint at his potential.

Jennifer Jason Leigh, 20 years old but convincingly playing 15, is the centre of the film's exploration of teen sex. Curious, impressionable, eager, disappointed, then shocked, Stacy's finds the most difficult path to contentment, Crowe summarizing in Stacy the casual recklessness of youth. It's not necessarily a pretty picture of considered behaviour, but Leigh's natural performance shines with a non-judgemental honesty. Crowe and Heckerling throw Stacy on the screen as a mirror to reality. Her behaviour may be shocking for some, but rings true for many in her generation.

Phoebe Cates became best friends with Leigh in real life, and they are best friends here on the screen. Cates has less to do as Linda, but her stunning fantasy scene, dropping her red bikini top after emerging from the pool, catapulted her overnight to the front row of sex symbols for adolescent boys. In her other scenes, Cates gives Linda an appealing coyness, as her confident advice to Stacy begins to leak, possibly due to manufactured personal experience.


The boys chasing sex and companionship also do well, Brian Backer, Robert Romanus and Judge Reinhold creating memorable characters. Reinhold's Brad defines the well-meaning goof, Romanus gives Damone a slick veneer of cool that proves all to easy to puncture, while Backer's portrayal of Rat is an early example of the nerd who succeeds by being slow and steady.


In a rare strike of fortune for teen comedies, Fast Times At Ridgemont High proved to be a true training ground for fine future acting talent. Lurking deep in the cast list are future Academy Award winners Nicolas Cage (credited as Nicolas Coppola) and Forest Whitaker, as well as Anthony Edwards and Eric Stoltz.

The teens of Fast Times At Ridgemont High can't help misbehaving, and are nevertheless undoubtedly endearing, ensuring an everlasting mark in the history of high school comedies.

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Movie Review: The Anniversary Party (2001)

A fictional peak inside the private lives of Hollywood's elite, co-directors and co-stars Jennifer Jason Leigh and Alan Cumming invite everyone to have a look at what happens at a house party for the rich and famous. The Anniversary Party has a fine ensemble cast and sizzles in patches, but cannot fully sustain the thrust of its intriguing premise.

Hollywood couple Sally (Leigh) and Joe (Cumming) are throwing a party to celebrate their sixth anniversary, although they only just got back together after Joe's latest rehab stint. Sally is an actress, although her age is beginning to work against her, and Joe is a best selling author who is embarking on his first directing assignment to transform his novel into a film. The tension between them is already high, since Joe selected young emerging starlet Skye Davidson (Gwyneth Paltrow) instead of Sally to play the leading role in the film -- and to make matters worse, Joe invited Skye to the party.

Other invitees include neighbours Ryan and Monica, who are not part of the Hollywood social scene but very much a thorn in the side of Sally and Joe due to their complaints about the incessant barking of Joe's dog. Actor Cal (Kevin Kline) and his wife Sophia (Phoebe Cates), director Mac (John C. Reilly) and his wife Clair (Jane Adams), and photographer Gina (Jennifer Beals) are among the many other guests. Cal, an aging actor himself, is Sally's latest co-star and struggling to still be considered for younger roles. Sophia is Sally's best friend and quite content at having abandoned an acting career. Mac is directing Sally's latest movie, and his wife Clair appears to be strung out on something. Gina is Joe's close confidant, and clearly her simmering presence makes Sally uncomfortable.

As the evening unfolds, everyone tries to pretend to be having a good time, but a strong current of tension crackles under the surface. When Skye unpacks Ecstasy tablet for the enjoyment of all, most inhibitions are lost and many hurtful truths are unleashed.

In a nod to the close ties between fact and fiction that permeate through The Anniversary Party, Phoebe Cates pretty much plays herself. She is Leigh's close friend in real life, and like her character Sophia, Cates left the acting industry early and came out of retirement for this role.

The first half of The Anniversary Party provides a glimpse into the social life of Hollywood's rich and famous, and unsurprisingly, they are an unrefined, vacuous, catty and self-obsessed group, which means plenty of fun. Arguments about a dog barking, rehab, and the latest ego-inflating projects dominate the conversation, with some overly pretentious discussion of Russian literature doing nothing to break through the dense superficiality.

Once the Ecstasy comes out, The Anniversary Party loses its way, and the second half of the movie stumbles around looking for a purpose. The attendees scatter into aimless groups and the delicious discomfort of the earlier encounters dissipates. A contrived near-drowning and the search for a missing dog further dilute the remaining energy, although the film does regain its nerve in enough time to allow Leigh and Cumming to enjoy a cleansing shouting match. The final act features an off-camera tragedy that revives the pulse of the movie, but it's a bit late to recapture the emotional momentum.

The always delightfully unpredictable Jennifer Jason Leigh avoids placing herself fully in the middle of her own movie but still emerges with the best performance from a crowded field. Leigh's dark expressions provide ample warning that although Sally starts the party in a bad mood, it's only getting worse as the evening unravels, as both her relationship and career receive rude awakenings before dawn.

As her husband Joe, Alan Cumming absorbs the fakery of Hollywood's fleeting obsession with the latest boy wonder, a man who is today's toast of a town that celebrates recovering heroes while eagerly anticipating their next crash.

The Anniversary Party is a voyeuristic invitation that is difficult to resist. As with most parties, some parts of the evening do drag, but the gathering is certainly worth dropping in on.

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